PZ Meyers and the wacky wafer kerfuffle…

[Note this post started as a comment on Seed’s SciBlogs here ]

So to anyone curious or artistically inclined, there is a ready supply of holy hosts – without the hassle of a congregation of hysterics chasing you out the door. It turns how you can get 250 authentic Eucharist wafers for $5.47(US) online. For $39.95(US) you can get a 210 set of pre-filled cups with a Eucharist chaser… the only crime here is one against ‘creation’ —how very, very wasteful.

Perhaps the easy access to the commoditized cannibal snack should be a more serious concern for the seriously concerned. Anyone and I mean ANYONE can buy 500 of them for a mere 85.00(US) and go to town
on a binge and purge session and no one would be the wiser. Therefore, I suggest a RFID tracking system for all containers of wafers traded globally, so the impending scourge of cracker kidnapping and desecration can be avoided.

Idolatry for those interested in religious breech would be the thing that any concerned priest should be chastising his flock for…but consistency has never been the forte of the Vatican or other manufacturers of new and disparate dogma, transubstantiation in fact, is a fairly new twist on the theme, disputed since a few decades after that very bad day at Golgotha.

Those concerned about ‘respect for Christ’…need to go check out this TERRIBLE animated avatar explaining the benefit of the easy open Eucharist kit…

http://www.kingdom.com/category.aspx?categoryID=430&adcode=Google&gclid=CLXi29rzupQCFQOjFQodWnPeSw

Apparently, you can get them in ‘whole wheat’ too, which begs the question what of our gluten intolerant Catholic friends? This kind of intolerance is actually very very painful. Is it possible that Christ causes terrible IBS pain without, of course, intending to?  The Cavanaugh brand is made “strictly without additives” and is packaged in a very high end well designed box. The wafer itself is never touched by human hands before being wrapped in plastic (which may or may not contain biphenol-a.) What are the additives in the down market no brand version of the wafer? Are caloric and additive labelings required? We require such stickers for just about everything else we put in our mouths. How do you know it’s just wheat, water, vegetable shortening and G*D? Can Catholics get an organic version to show their love and respect for creation or will giant agribusiness block that development in digestives labeling as they have with other ingest-ables?

The more economical Eucharistic suppliers ship in large plastic tubs, with very little marketing efforts going into the container design. From a designer’s perspective I would suggest that ‘going on the cheap’ for your flock shows real disrespect when the G*diva of wafers is available on-line right next to the crappy Micky D’s Big Gulp version, for just a bit more money. Render unto Caeser and give it up for the Cadillac of crackers! When your priest chooses the cheap-o wafer, where is the love? Also, do the homeless get ‘day old’ hosts along with their ‘day old’ bagels?

You can get them in a nice glass bottle, a plastic bag or box. The bottle and box might be the best choice, for the planet. But I must ask…can the temporary home of the host be properly recycled? The Shroud of Turin and other artifacts having touched the man/God in question must be handled, I am sure, with at least reverence surpassing a national flag. Huge swathes of Europe are dotted with shrines built around things that may or may not have been a part of or touched the actual (apologies for the dither here…) “body of Christ.”  If the box, glass or can, can and it is not handled properly at the end of it’s one short and brutish life, is the priest then subject to the same kind of approbation as PZ Meyers who merely threatens mischief,  when the priest blithely tosses such a holy conveyance to the garbage on a weekly schedule?

I am shocked to find the old bait and switch with regard to the ‘blood of Christ.’ Fermented wine can apparently be switched out for grape juice (also available in handy once off disposables.) Was this just a cost cutting measure on the part of penny-wise pontiffs or a conciliatory gesture to salvaged sinners on the wagon? What was the date of the papal bull that put the okey doke on the grape juice?

Wikipedia, you fail me.

Also for a mere 40.00(US) from Aquinas and More as well as, St. Andrew’s Church Supply you can get a handy freeze-dried package of holy grape juice ‘granules’ for those moments when popping an actual cork is just too much bother – or for church camp outs. Has the Vatican sanctified whatever facility is freeze drying the ‘blood of Christ’ for convenient packaging and shipping? The Jews and Muslims have the kosher and halal market going maybe it’s time for a conference call on the how-to aspects of getting a proper audited labeling system going.

The host is also available in an ‘extra thick’ wafer…and I will just leave THAT ONE just as I found it.

For any Catholic truly offended by this I suggest perusing that commandment about idolatry.

I side with those that say more serious crimes than ‘disrespect’ have and are being committed by those attacking the young man in question physically and the career of PZ Meyers actually.

Please support Professor Meyers by writing a level headed letter, and Webster Cook, the student in question who has been receiving death threats, by perhaps writing the President of UCF.

In other news, that fellow Jesus sure gets around these days. Patrons at the ice cream parlor were overheard saying, “It’s sacre-licious!”